Campsite Neighbor Bingo

You've met all of these people. You ARE some of these people.

Every campground in Michigan operates on the same unspoken truth: you don't get to choose your neighbors.

You might get the lovely retired couple with the immaculate fifth wheel who bring you homemade cookies on night two. You might get the family whose children have apparently never encountered a boundary of any kind. You might get the generator guy — and oh, you'll know when you get the generator guy.

The good news is that after years of field research (camping), we have identified every campsite neighbor type known to exist in the state of Michigan. We have turned them into a bingo card. We believe you will win on the first night.

Print it. Pack it. The whole family can play.

There's one rule: if you look around the campground and can't find the Generator Guy... check your own site. It might be you. No judgment. We've all been him at least once.

The Full Roster — Because Every Square Deserves Its Story

The Generator Guy Arrives at 6 p.m. Fires up the generator by 6:04. Will explain, unprompted, exactly how many watts it produces and why that's actually very reasonable for his setup. Generator runs until 10 p.m. on the dot because he is, to his credit, a rule follower. You will hear it in your sleep for three days after you get home.

The Early Morning Coffee Walker Up at 5:45 a.m. Full mug. Slow, peaceful loop around the campground in their camp slippers and a fleece they've had since 2003. Smiles and nods at everything. Completely at peace with the universe. You will never know their name but you will think about them sometimes when life gets hard and it will help.

The Family With 11 Kids and One Dog The dog is the most organized member of the group. The kids range in age from approximately two to seventeen and operate as a single chaotic organism. There is always one running, one crying, one missing briefly, and one attempting something that makes you set down your coffee and stand up halfway before someone else handles it. They are having the time of their lives. The parents look like people who have accepted something beautiful and terrifying about existence.

The Guy Who Knows Everything About Your Setup Wanders over within twenty minutes of your arrival. Hands in pockets. Head tilted. "Whatcha got there — is that the 2019 or the 2021?" Will have opinions about your hitch, your leveling blocks, and your choice of sewer hose. Means absolutely no harm. Cannot stop himself. You will learn things you didn't ask to learn and some of them will actually be useful.

The Late Arrivals It is 11 p.m. You are asleep. Headlights sweep across your ceiling. Doors. Voices at a volume that suggests they believe everyone else is also awake. The sound of a tent being assembled by people who have never assembled this tent before, in the dark, while disagreeing about the instructions. They will be completely lovely in the morning and you will forgive them immediately.

The Gourmet Chef You are eating a hot dog. They are over there with a cast iron skillet, fresh herbs, and something that smells like garlic butter and better decisions. By day two you are finding excuses to walk past their site at dinner time. By day three you are hoping they offer to share and trying not to make it obvious. They always have a glass of wine. They are living their best life and they know it.

The Competitive Fire Builder Their fire is bigger than yours. It was bigger within fifteen minutes of arrival. This was not an accident. They have a system — a specific log arrangement, a philosophy about airflow, a lighter they've owned for eleven years and consider lucky. If you struggle with your fire they will help. But they will know. And they will remember.

The Hammock Family Every member of this family has a hammock. Even the toddler has a hammock. They were set up and swinging before you finished leveling. Their whole campsite has a vibe like a REI catalog came to life. They seem genuinely relaxed in a way that makes you feel slightly competitive about your own relaxation. You want to be annoyed by them but they're too peaceful. It doesn't work.

The Dog Who Has Escaped Not the owner. The dog. The dog is the one who shows up at your site at 9 a.m. with zero explanation and complete confidence. Sniffs everything. Accepts a piece of your breakfast sausage. Someone will appear apologetically from two sites over. The dog will look back at your sausage as it's led away. You will think about that dog for the rest of the trip.

The Person Who Loves Their Speaker a Little Too Much A wide range of outcomes here. Sometimes it's great — you catch snippets of a playlist you wouldn't have found yourself and mentally Shazam three songs. Sometimes it's country at 7 a.m. Sometimes it is, inexplicably, smooth jazz that somehow carries across six campsites. It is always louder than they think it is. Always.

The Couple Arguing Quietly But Not That Quietly They are fine. They will be fine. This is just the tent-setup portion of the trip, which is statistically the most argument-prone twenty minutes of any camping experience. By tonight they'll be laughing by the fire. You don't know what the tent did to deserve this but it probably had it coming.

The Kid Who Has Befriended Your Kid You did not plan this. Your child did not consult you. One minute your kid was sitting at the picnic table, the next minute there's a new best friend from Shelby Township and they have already established a fort, a system of rules, and apparently a plan to stay in touch forever. This is the best thing camping does. You let it happen. You always let it happen.

The Free Square: You, Forgetting Something Important The can opener. The matches. The one specific comfort item that one specific child cannot sleep without. The coffee. The coffee filters. The coffee and the filters but not the coffee maker. It doesn't matter what it is. It's tradition at this point. The free square belongs to all of us.

At Red Run, we can't control who parks next to you on the campground. But we can make sure your rig is ready to go when you are — stored safe, accessible, and waiting for the next trip where you will absolutely remember the can opener.

Print the bingo card. Pack it with the s'mores supplies. First one to yell BINGO wins the last good chair.

Who's your all-time best — or worst — campsite neighbor? Drop them in the comments.